there is a light at the end of the tunnel
by Bart s
Summary: Starts the morning after the third task. Harry really struggles with coping with ahat happened that night. Hermione is there to help him. Warning for depressed stuff, self-harm, (slight) eating disorder, and maybe language. Also Harry/Hermione pairing somewhere later in the story. based on TPOBAWF and personal experiences.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is my second ever written story so I hope you like it! Any suggestions,questions, etc. are welcome! Please review or PM what you think. :)**

 **This story is a lot darker than my other story, it's inspired by the movie 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower', and my personal experiences. WARNING for depressive stuff, self-harm, and maybe language.**

Harry was sitting in his dorm on his bed, he had the curtains closed and just wanted to be alone. A few hours earlier he had returned form the maze that was the third task of the Triwizard Tournament. He had returned with a dead friend is his arms. Cedric was dead. This one sentence just kept repeating in his head.

The dead of Cedric was not the only shock of that evening/night though. Voldemort was back, he had seen Peter Pettigrew and his defence against the dark arts teacher was a dead-eater. Harry really didn't know what he should do now or how to react on all this.

He had been awake the whole rest of the night, not being able to sleep. In his mind images of a dead Cedric and the return of Voldemort kept playing. He also realized how angry he was at Dumbledore. Why had Dumbledore not helped him, like the other headmasters had done with their candidate?

As he kept asking himself this and a hundred more questions while lying in his bed, outside the morning sun rose from the darkness, signing the start of the day after.

OOOOOOOOOO

In the girls dormitory Hermione was wide awake as well. After she had witnessed Harry coming back from the maze with the dead body of Cedric she hadn't see her friend anymore. She was worried sick, not only because of the fact that Voldemort was back and Cedric was dead, but also about Harry and how he was dealing with all this. After all, he had been in the middle of it.

She was also thinking about the rumours that were going round, that professor Moody was not Mad-Eye Moody but a death-eater who had used polyjuice-potion.

Slowly she saw the sun coming up and was wondering what the day would bring. ' _Well at least it can't be worse than last night._ ' She thought to herself. But little did she know.

OOOOOOOOOO

After a few hours Harry heard the rest of the room come to live. He heard most of the other guys going down, probably to get breakfast in the Great Hall. Harry however had not heard his friend leave yet, so he assumed Ron would be waiting for him.

' _I'm really not in the mood for talking right now,_ ' Harry thought to himself so he decided to act as if he was still asleep.

"Harry, are you awake?" Ron's voice asked from the bed next to him.

Harry didn't answer and tried to make some snoring noises to prove he was still asleep. The snoring noises however didn't really sound convincing so he was kind of surprised when he heard Ron leaving the room.

Now that Harry was alone, he threw the sheets of him and sat up right against the wall behind him. Before he knew what was going on he felt tears rolling down his cheeks. He tried to stop crying but he just couldn't. He put his head in his hands ad stated sobbing uncontrollable.

Harry stayed in this position for at least an hour before the tears finally stopped. He got out of his bed and put on some fresh clothes. He walked down to common room and ignored the fact that everybody stopped talking and was staring at him, as he walked out of the portrait. His head didn't really know where his feet were taking him but soon he was outside.

Without even thinking he walked over the Hogwarts grounds, and made his way to the great lake. Quickly he walked to his favourite spot behind a few bushes and sat down on a rock. ' _At least nobody can see me here_ ,' he said to himself.

OOOOOOOOOO

Hermione sat at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall on her own. Everybody else already had finished breakfast before she even was out of her bed. When professor McGonagall had seen her walk in to the Great Hall she quickly had ordered a few house-elves to arrange some breakfast for her.

Hermione tried to eat some of the fruits that the elves had placed in front of her, but she simply couldn't eat. She felt sick in her stomach and knew if she would eat anything, it wouldn't stay inside her very long. Instead of eating she took small sips from her cup of tea.

She had heard the people in the common room talk about Harry and heard that they had seen him leave the Gryffindor tower but she wasn't really surprised to not see him here. She knew Harry would get a lot of unwanted attention the coming weeks and she felt so bad for him.

' _Why does all this stuff always happen to him_ ,' she asked herself while staring at the wood of the table in front of her.

Although she was the only student in the Great Hall by now, she could feel the eyes of professor McGonagall and Dumbledore stinging in her back. She quickly stood up from her place and left the hall. She really wanted to find Harry, she knew he would need somebody right now, even though he didn't want it.

OOOOOOOOOO

Harry was staring at the bushes in front of him and felt extremely tired. He knew he had to sleep but every time he had tried, images of last night appeared in his 'dreams'. Again he was sitting with his head in his hands and again he felt tears trickling down his face.

'Stop crying,' he said to himself out loud. 'STOP CRYING!'

Again he started sobbing. He hated this feeling so much, the overwhelming feeling when it all is just too much.

' _Why always me, please tell me why_ ,' he said to himself between the sobs. A question that he would repeat so many times the next few days.

Harry knew that his friends were probably looking for him by now, especially Hermione. She was always the one who was worried so much about Harry. He couldn't really describe how much she meant to him. Not only was she his best friend, she was like a friend, sister, mother and teacher all in one person.

Of course there was Ron as well, but he never was really worried about Harry, as long as they could talk about Quidditch and play chess. Ron most of the time failed to notice how Harry was feeling. Hermione however, always knew how he felt, even if he didn't know himself.

OOOOOOOOOOO

Hermione decided to start looking for Harry and was going through all the places where he might could be in her head.

She walked to the Astronomy tower to see if he was there but he wasn't. Hermione checked dozens of classrooms and all the secret passages she knew, before trying her luck outside.

After being an hour outside, Hermione went back inside. She had checked the Quidditch pitch and the locker-rooms, had been to Hagrid to check if Harry was there and then had just walked over the Hogwarts grounds in the hope to find him.

As she walked in the common room she spotted Ron sitting in a chair, chatting with Dean and Seamus.

"Hey Ron, do you know if Harry's up in his bed?" Hermione asked when she stood next to the red haired boy.

Ron shook his head. "I don't even think he is the tower at this moment," Ron said. "He probably wants to be alone right now," he added.

Hermione just nodded and walked out of the portrait again. Just as she was thinking about giving up her search, an idea came to her mind.

"Dobby?" she whispered after she had entered an empty classroom.

A second of silence was followed by a soft ' _pop_ ' noise when dobby appeared.

"How can Dobby help you mistress Granger?" Dobby squeaked with his high voice.

"Dobby can you find out where Harry is?" Hermione asked. "I really need to know where he is, I guess you heard what happened yesterday?"

Dobby nodded and looked much more sad now. "Oh yes mistress Granger, Dobby has heard," he said with his ears hanging down. "I know where Harry Potter sir is."

Dobby started describing the place that Harry was at the moment. After he was finished Hermione gave the little house-elf a quick hug, much to his excitement, before she raced out of the classroom.

OOOOOOOOOO

Harry finally managed to stop his tears. He sat with his back against an old oak tree and was making circles in the ground with the back of his wand.

' _Why am I even here, why am I even still alive?_ ' he asked himself. ' _Being dead would be so much easier to be honest, now I have all this shit going on_.'

Before Harry could stop himself he had taken a small, sharp-edged stone in his hand and had pulled the sleeve of his robe up. He could feel tears in his eyes again as he began to scratch over his lower arm with the stone.

Tears rolling down his face, Harry started to put more and more pressure on the stone in his hand. Just as he saw a few trickles of blood appearing on his arm he heard branches breaking behind him. Within a second he had dropped the stone, rolled down his sleeve and had his wand in his hand.

Just as he wanted to shout some of the nastiest spells he knew, Hermione appeared between two of the lower bushes.

' _Of course she came here, she always knows where to find me_ ,' Harry sad to himself before lowering his wand. He sat back down against the tree.

OOOOOOOOOO

Without saying a word, Hermione dropped next to him. She didn't say a word, she just wanted to let Harry know she was here for him. She always would be there for him.

Every few minutes she looked at her friend, struggling with the silence between them. She was always somebody who had talked about everything, but now she had no clue what to say. She saw that Harry looked extremely tired.

She also noticed that every time he seemed to fall asleep, he would almost jump up as if he was scared.

After a few hours she could no longer take it and took his hand. She felt him almost pull back, something he would never do, but after a second or two he accepted her hand in his. Together they sat in silence again, but lost in their own thoughts, but also both thinking about the same.

OOOOOOOOOO

"Harry I think we better go back inside," he heard Hermione saying with a small voice. "It's almost midnight."

Harry didn't reply to her but he slowly got up from his place under the tree, his hand never leaving the one of Hermione. He could feel the cuts he had made earlier on his other arm and quickly put that hand in the pocket of his robes.

Still without saying a word he helped Hermione stand up with the hand that was holding her.

' _Even in his darkest times, he is still so sweet_ ,' Hermione thought to herself after Harry helped her up.

Harry and Hermione walked extremely slow due to their body's being very sore. They had sat by the lake almost the entire day.

OOOOOOOOOO

When they entered the Gryffindor tower Harry and Hermione were both very glad to see that everybody already went to sleep. Even Ron, Hermione noticed with a kind of sad feeling.

Instead of going to their dorms Harry and Hermione sat down on the sofa in front of the fireplace.

"You don't want to sleep either?" Hermione asked with a small voice.

Harry shook his head. "I don't think I ever want to sleep again," Harry whispered and noticed how dry his mouth was. It was the first time he spoke since the evening before.

"Oh Harry," Hermione whispered and sat a bit closer to him. So close that her leg was pressed against his but she didn't care. "Do you mind if I stay up with you?" Hermione asked.

For the first time today Harry looked Hermione right in the eyes. After a few moments of silence he slowly shook his head. He then turned his attention back to the fire.

After another hour or two Harry could see Hermione struggling with staying awake.

"You should go to sleep 'mione," Harry whispered after he had seen the dark circles underneath her eyes.

Hermione quickly shook her head. "I'm not leaving you Harry," she said quickly while giving Harry's hand a little squeeze.

"Well then just sleep here," Harry said. "The couch here is big enough and you really need some sleep.

After a few seconds of staring at him, Hermione nodded her head and pulled her legs up on the couch, curling herself up like a cat.

With a small flick of his wand, Harry made a sheet appear out of nowhere and gently threw it over her. He could see half a smile appear on her face for a second, before it turned back to the serious expression.

After a few minutes Hermione closed her eyes. That didn't mean she was asleep though, she couldn't sleep, her mind was way too busy processing everything.

After what seemed like ages Harry was convinced his friend was asleep next to him on the couch. Finally he felt safe enough to let his emotions out once again. Silently the tears made their way down his cheeks and after short while he was sobbing softly.

It seemed there were enough tears inside Harry to fill a whole ocean. Minutes later he was still sobbing. He tried his best to keep the sobs as quiet as possible, trying not to disturb Hermione's sleep, but little did he know that she wasn't even sleeping at all.

When Hermione heard the soft noises coming from Harry she opened her eyes a fraction of a millimetre, just enough to see him. There she could see him, sitting there crying and sobbing. It was just too much for her and within seconds she felt her own tears on her own cheeks.

Harry looked up with a shocked expression when he heard a noise coming from Hermione. When he looked at her he could see the tears and realized she had woken up.

In an instinct, Harry forgot his own tears for a second. His had went from Hermione's hand to her cheeks and quietly wiped her tears from her skin with his fingers. Hermione opened her eyes and sat upright on the couch.

Hermione had felt a small feeling of relief when she felt Harry's fingers on her cheeks. For a second she had feared he would be angry when he realized she had seen him crying. But on the other hand it was Harry, and it was very unlikely for him to be angry with her.

Every few seconds a tear made its way down over her face, and every time Harry gently wiped them away with his finger.

After a while she felt herself almost falling asleep again. She really had to focus a hundred percent to keep her eyes open at this moment.

"It's alright 'mione, you can go to sleep," she heard Harry whisper after he brushed yet another tear away. "I'm here, I'm staying here."

She slowly nodded and just let her head fall down, only to fall on the softness of Harry's leg. For a second she thought about moving but then she felt his hand gently going through her hair, so she knew she could stay right where she was.

Harry for his part felt himself calm down as he was playing with Hermione's hair. He still couldn't sleep but for the first time today he felt calm and safe.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: thank you to all the people who read the first chapter! I know it's not the usual HP fanfic story but I still hope you enjoy it. Feel free to leave a review or PM and let me know what you think of it.**

 **The first few chapters are going to be a bit dark as may have already noticed but I'll make sure that there also will be some chapters about recovery and more positive stuff.**

 **Now enjoy this chapter!**

Harry was still staring at the now cold fire place in front of him when he felt Hermione starting to move. She slowly opened her eyes and lifted her head from his to look at him.

"Hey there," Harry said softly as he brushed away a lock of her hair from her head and tuck it behind her ear.

"Hey," she whispered as she sat up and stretched her legs in front of her to get the blood flowing again.

Together they sat in silence, but just like the day before they both felt comfortable with each other's presence. The both didn't know how late it was but they sun was already peeking to the windows and they could hear some birds outside.

"You want to go get breakfast early?" Hermione asked softly after a while. She knew that Harry understood what she meant when she asked this. They both didn't want to see too much people at the moment.

Harry nodded in agreements before stretching his body as well. He could feel every muscle in his body being sore. Hermione slowly got up and offered her hand to Harry, who accepted it without saying a word.

Together they walked down to the Great Hall, both hoping they could avoid as much people as possible. And they were lucky. When they entered the Great Hall there were only a few Ravenclaw's and a handful of Hufflepuff's awake. Harry though still felt very uncomfortable when he spotted the headmaster sitting at the staff table.

As Harry sat down with Hermione next to him the next challenge came. Harry hadn't eaten in one and a half day, but still he realized that he would not be able to eat anything.

Hermione saw Harry struggling and without asking or saying a word she made him a cup of tea and gave it to him. After a second of staring at the cup, Harry accepted it and gave Hermione a small smile. She made herself a cup as well and managed to eat some of the eggs she had on her plate.

After Harry had finished his cup of tea he saw professor McGonagall approaching. Since there were still no other Gryffindor students down in the Great Hall, Harry knew who she was coming for.

"Good morning Harry, Hermione," the professor said with a much smaller voice than usual. Harry who had nothing against his transfiguration professor slowly turned to her and Hermione did the same.

"I guess asking how you two are doing would be stupid," the professor said. "I'm afraid that I have no good new though, Dumbledore has given me the very unpleasant task to inform you that tonight there is a memorial service for Cedric. He also wanted me to tell you that your attendance is mandatory."

Harry fell his mouth fall open after she had said that. How could Dumbledore possibly do this to him?

Harry felt the anger raging inside him and before he knew what happened some of the glasses on the table exploded in to pieces. He felt Hermione's hand taking his and he slowly calmed down again but when he opened his eyes he saw all the people that were in the Great Hall staring at him.

Harry slowly got up from his place and without saying a word to anybody he left the Great Hall.

OOOOOOOOOO

For the second time in the past 24 hours, Hermione was looking for Harry. After he had let the Great Hall she didn't see him walk outside so she started where she started yesterday as well, with checking classrooms.

After a while she finally found him in an empty Charms classroom. He sat there in the windowsill, knees pulled up against his chest and staring outside the window.

Silently she walked over to him and when she stood right next to him, she pulled his body against her, embracing him in a hug. She knew he needed her right now and for a reason she didn't understand herself she knew she would always be there for him.

OOOOOOOOO

Together Harry and Hermione spend most of the day inside of the classroom. Hermione had performed a quick locking spell on the door and a few privacy charms on the room, so they knew that they wouldn't be disturbed.

Hermione had taken one of the books she found in the classroom and was reading while Harry was still staring out of the window.

' _Again, she is here, and I want her here. I want her here even though I don't want to see anybody else_ ,' Harry said to himself and he thought about Ron, who he hadn't seen since he had entered the maze.

Harry turned his face away from the window and looked at Hermione who was sitting on the old desk in the middle of the classroom, reading her book. He found himself staring at her but for some reason he couldn't stop.

OOOOOOOOOO

Hermione looked up from her book and saw Harry looking at her. Even though she didn't feel uncomfortable with him looking at her, she felt a slight blush coming to her cheeks.

"You want to go for a walk?" she asked as she stood up from the desk and walked over to him. Again she offered him her hand and she felt a short moment of happiness when he closed her hand in his and got up from his place.

As they left the classroom Hermione felt Harry leading her and she let him. Soon she found herself walking through secret passages she had never knew they existed. Within minutes they left the castle through a small door at the back of the building.

"You know Harry, I've always admired your knowledge about the castle," Hermione said in a soft voice. "You know so much about this place."

Harry gave her a little smile. "Let's not forget who is the smart one here," he said before his face turned back to the emotionless expression.

OOOOOOOOOO

Together the two Gryffindor's walked and walked and walked, until they realized it was already five o'clock.

"I guess that means we have to go back to the castle," Harry whispered as he had looked on his watch and saw the time. He felt extremely uncomfortable about going to the memorial service.

Hermione gave his hand a little squeak. "I'm going to be right beside you Harry," she said softly before giving him a small hug.

Arm in arm they walked back to the castle. For the first time they came across a lot of students and they could feel the staring looks everywhere they went.

When they entered the common room the entire room fell silent instantly. Everybody was staring at the two fourth year students. After a few seconds the room came back to life and everybody was whispering about something, Harry and Hermione both knew about what.

"I'll meet you in your room when I'm finished," Hermione said before giving Harry's had a final squeak and walking to her dorm.

OOOOOOOOOO

When Harry entered his dorm he sat down on his bed and stared to the wall in front of him. For the first time images of the maze flashed in his mind. He feared what was going to happen when he would be at the memorial service.

Harry didn't move from his place and after a long while there was a soft knock on the door and Hermione came in.

As soon as he saw Hermione, Harry snapped out of his thoughts and he just stared at her. Hermione had changed her school robes for a long, tight fitting, black dress. ' _Oh my god she looks so beautiful_ ,' Harry thought to himself.

Hermione had seen the look on Harry's face and cursed to herself when she felt a blush coming to her cheeks for the second time today. She walked over to Harry and saw that he hadn't changed his clothes or anything yet.

"Is it alright if I look for something for you to wear?" Hermione asked softly and after Harry had nodded his head she started looking in his trunk.

After a few moments she found a nice pair of black jeans that looked so new that she was almost sure that Harry had never wore them. She also found a black shirt that she had given him for his birthday last summer.

"Thank you," Harry whispered after Hermione had laid the clothes on the bed beside him.

Harry though didn't move at all and made no approach to change his clothes. Hermione saw that Harry was struggling with himself and decided to help once more.

Hermione loosened Harry's robes and softly pulled them of Harry. Harry did look at her for a second but he let her continue, and she did. Soon Harry was bare chested. Even deep in his thoughts Harry managed to avoid Hermione seeing his cuts on his arm.

' _Okay damn he looks good_ ,' Hermione thought after giving Harry's upper-body a scan. She quickly started to put the shirt on Harry though and after she had closed the buttons Harry again was fully clothed.

Hermione didn't hesitate when she pulled off Harry's pants next and again Harry didn't protest. There was nothing sexual in this situation, just a friend helping a friend.

After Hermione was done changing Harry's clothes she took a moment to give Harry long and warm hug before she stood back in front of him.

"It's time," she sighed and took Harry's hand. Together they left the room.

OOOOOOOOOO

As Harry and Hermione walked in to the Great Hall to their frustration they saw they were one of the last students to arrive. Just like the common room earlier, the entire Great Hall fell silent as the two walked in.

Harry hoped he could sit in the back row, as far as possible from the front but he saw the headmaster pointing to two chairs on the first row. Harry and Hermione looked at each other for a second before they walked to the front.

Harry sat down next to Luna Lovegood, a third year Ravenclaw student while Hermione sat on his other side, on the last chair of their row.

Harry's hand was holding on to Hermione's hand as if his live depended on it. A second later he was happy that he had her hand in his to draw comfort from. The doors of the Great Hall had opened and six people in black robes walked in, six people with a wooden box on their shoulders.

It was only a few moments later when Harry felt a tear rolling down his face. He also noticed he was shaking a bit. He hated this. He hated Dumbledore for doing this to him, for making him relive everything. And he hated himself for crying, again…

OOOOOOOOOO

Only a few minutes in to the memorial service Harry had spaced out. His thoughts were wandering back to the night in the maze once again while he heard Dumbledore talking in front of the school.

After what seemed like ages Harry heard music playing and for the first time this service he looked to Hermione and what he saw crushed his heart. Next to him Hermione was quietly sobbing, her head hanging down and tears falling on her dress.

Harry softly let go of her hand and put that arm around her, a move that cause Hermione look to him for a second in surprise, before she laid her head on his shoulder. Harry gently rubbed her shoulder while she was crying, trying to comfort her at least a tiny bit.

Hermione felt very thankful for Harry to be next to her. She had not expected herself to be this emotional but she was glad that when she was, Harry was there to hold her. She knew he was going through a lot more than she was at the moment.

' _Again even in his darkest times, he is here for me, ignoring his own hurt_ ,' Hermione thought to herself as more tears made their way down her cheeks.

OOOOOOOOOO

After a long while Harry and Hermione both shocked out of their thoughts when they realized everybody was standing up from their places. Hermione and Harry looked at each other for a moment but stayed right where they were.

Everybody had left the Great Hall by now, but Harry was still sitting in his chair, holding his friend close to him. He was staring at the wooden coffin right in front of him while he absently played with Hermione's hair.

They sat like this for almost two hours before Hermione saw that Harry was struggling with staying awake.

"Let's go to the common room," she whispered as she slowly got up.

Harry nodded but as he stood up from his place he found himself walking to the coffin of Cedric. Hermione didn't follow Harry, deciding that he might needed a moment alone to say his goodbye to Cedric. But Harry wasn't saying goodbye.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered as he laid one hand on top of the coffin. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Harry kept repeating this sentence and was soon saying it out loud over and over again. Before he realized it he was sitting on the floor sobbing and still repeating the sentence.

Hermione who had seen Harry break down quickly made her way to him and sat down next to him on the floor before pulling him close to her. She laid his head on her chest and wrapped her arms around him like a mother would do with her child.

It took almost an hour before Hermione had managed to calm Harry down. Slowly Harry managed to stand up and with the support of Hermione he slowly walked out of the Great Hall.

Once Hermione and Harry arrived in the empty common room, Hermione lay Harry down on the couch. She took off his glasses and his shoes and was slowly stroking with her fingers through his hair.

After a few moments Hermione realized that Harry wasn't responding to her touches anymore. He had finally managed to fall asleep.

Hermione felt a small moment of happiness when she saw Harry sleeping and decided she didn't want to spend the night on her own. She kicked of her own shoes and crawled in front of Harry on the couch. After a while she felt his arm slipping around her, holding her against him and slowly she fell asleep as well.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: First of all thank you guys for reading the story and the reviews I've received so far! Here is another chapter, let me know what you guys think of it!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own HP, TBOBAWF or anything, I'm just playing around :)**

 _'_ _NOT LEAVE HIM ALONE! CEDRIC RUN! IT'S HIM CEDRIC RUN!' Harry screamed_

 _A flash of green light and Cedric's body dropped to the ground as the little man who just killed him laughed._

 _Then suddenly the scene changed. A pale, snake-looking man slowly got up from the ground and inspected his new body. After a few seconds he walked over to the dead body on the other side of the graveyard._

 _'_ _NOOOO! LEAVE HIM ALONE! DON'T TOUCH HIM! DON'T!' Harry yelled._

 _Then suddenly Cedric's body disappeared and Hermione stood at the place he just disappeared. Harry saw Voldemort turning around to face her and raising his wand._

 _'_ _NOOOO NOT HER! KILL ME, KILL ME INSTEAD! NOT HERMIONE, NOT HERMIONE!_

OOOOOOOOOO

"Harry I'm right here, I'm right here for you," Hermione said. She was on her knees beside the couch she had fell from when Harry's nightmare had started. One hand was holding his while the other hand was placed on Harry's forehead.

"Please Harry wake up," Hermione said while she tried to hold on to Harry's hand while he was moving around, all over the couch. "Please Harry, please."

And suddenly, without any warning, Harry snapped his eyes open.

Before he could do anything, Hermione softly pulled the crying and sweating Harry in to her arms. She was crying herself, but that didn't matter now. She softly laid Harry's head on her chest and wrapped her arms around him, just like she had done yesterday. It just felt so natural.

OOOOOOOOOO

Slowly Harry calmed down and realized he was in the arms of his best friend. He had been so scared to lose her. He quickly grabbed his glasses from the floor and put them on his nose. The first thing he saw as he looked up was Hermione's face with tears on it.

"Oh no I'm so sorry," Harry whispered softly, still a little out of breath.

"It's okay Harry," Hermione whispered back. "You have nothing to be sorry about, I'm just glad you're awake now," she added and rested her head against Harry's.

"Thank you, Hermine," Harry said after a short silence. "For everything that you're doing for me."

Hermione just smiled at Harry and held him a bit tighter for a few moments.

"Let's get changed and go down to eat before the rest of the castle awakes," Hermione said as she slowly released Harry and got up from her spot on the floor next to the couch. "I can't believe I'm still wearing my dress," she said and looked down at the slightly rippled dress.

Harry looked at the dress as well. "You look beautiful 'mione," Harry blurted out and his cheeks got red instantly.

Hermione's cheeks got a light blush on it as well. "Thank you Harry, that's sweet of you," she said after a few seconds of slightly awkward silence.

OOOOOOOOOO

After both Harry and Hermione had changed, they both got back to the common room. Together they left the Gryffindor tower to get breakfast.

"You know Harry, I was thinking," Hermione said as they were almost down at the hall. "Maybe you should rearrange your summer plans."

Harry stopped walking and so did Hermione. "What do you mean?" Harry asked slightly confused.

"Well I know that normally you would go to the Dursley's for the summer, mainly because Dumbledore wants it but-'' Hermione said but Harry cut her off.

"I don't care what Dumbledore wants anymore," Harry said softly. Hermione could clearly hear the anger in his voice, not directed at her but at the headmaster of Hogwarts.

"Well I wanted to ask if you maybe wanted to stay at my place for the summe instead," Hermione said as she took Harry's hand to give him some comfort.

Harry felt his mouth fall open when Hermione said this. Was this really happening right now?

"I yes!," Harry stuttered. "I mean that would be amazing 'mione, really oh my god." Harry was smiling like an idiot by now. Just the thought of not having to spend the summer at the Dursley's was brilliant!

Hermione also had a small smile on her face when she saw how happy he looked right now. "Well I didn't have the chance to ask my mum and dad, but I'm sure they'll be okay with it," Hermione said. "I'll explain them what happened and that I want to keep an eye on you this summer."

"I don't want to cause any inconvenience," Harry said quickly. "Really I wouldn't want to cause your family any trouble."

"Relax Harry, as I already said, my parents will be okay with it," Hermione said.

Harry nodded and when Hermione took his hand again he gave hers a little squeak to let her know he appreciated everything she was doing for her.

' _Maybe today is going to be a good day. Or at least a slightly better day,_ ' Harry thought to himself as he walked in to the Great Hall.

OOOOOOOOOO

Harry had finally managed to eat half a slice of his toast, the most he had eaten in days, when a large group of students arrived for breakfast. Harry immediately looked to Hermione, signing that he was uncomfortable.

"Let's get out of here," she whispered and took his hand. Without asking any questions or saying anything to the other students Hermione led him out of the Great Hall.

"Thanks 'mione," Harry murmured when he was convinced that they were alone.

Hermione gave him a quick hug. "It's alright Harry, it's what I'm here for," she said softly as she continued to lead him up the stairs.

"Where you going?" Harry asked after a few minutes of walking through the castle.

"You'll see," she said softly as she continued walking with Harry in her hand.

After a few more minutes of walking Harry realized Hermione was leading him up the stairs of the Astronomy tower. He gave her a questioning look but she just shrugged her shoulders.

"I just wanted to enjoy the view for the last time this year," she said as they finally reached the top of the tower.

"Wait what?" Harry asked. "What do you mean for the last time this year?"

"Didn't you know?" Hermione replied. "Because of the whole tournament stuff and what happened all students can go home a week early. The train leaves tomorrow morning at nine, I heard Parvati and Lavender chat about it."

"Oh, no I didn't know," Harry said.

Together Harry and Hermione said down at the edge of the tower and looked over the Hogwarts ground. The wind was blowing around their heads but after a flick with his wand, Harry stopped the wind from doing just that.

' _He is such a great wizard, he sure has learned some spells and charms this past year_ ,' Hermione thought to herself when she didn't knew what spell Harry had just used.

Together they sat there in silence. Both holding each other's hand and both once again in their own thougts.

OOOOOOOOOO

Again Harry's thought drifted off to his encounter with Voldemort a few days ago. However he felt safe with Hermione sitting next to him. Even if he would lose control over himself again, he knew she would be there for him.

"Hermione, do you mind if we go back to the tower?" Harry asked after they had spent the entire morning, and even a few hours more, on the tower.

Hermione shook her head. "I don't mind at all Harry, but why you want to go back?" She asked softly.

"Well I thought we could pack all of our stuff now, so we could come back here tonight to watch the night," Harry said quietly.

Hermione nodded her head. "That's a brilliant idea Harry," she said as she stood up from her place, her hand never leaving Harry's.

Together they walked all the way back to the Gryffindor tower.

"I'm always quick with packing," Hermione said. "So I'll come to your dorm after I finish?"

Harry agreed and they both walked up the stairs to their dorms. Harry already missed the warmth of Hermione's hand in his as he entered the empty dorm room.

Harry sat down on his bed and pulled the long-sleeve shirt he was wearing over his head. It was way too warm for that so he took a short-sleeved one from his trunk. When he had put that one on he looked down to his arms and he eyes immediately fell upon the scars that were on his right arm.

Harry couldn't even remember that the cuts he had made were this deep. Carefully he went over the stripes of dry blood. He also counted them, he wanted to know what the damage on his arm was.

Eleven. Eleven cuts Harry counted. Most of them were two or three inches long and were pretty deep. How could he have made so deep cuts with just a stone?

With a sigh Harry pulled the shirt of his body again and put the long-sleeve version back on to cover his cuts up. He then slowly got up from his place and started to pack his stuff.

OOOOOOOOOO

"Hey there,"' Hermione said softly as she entered the boys dorm. "How is packing going?"

"Eh it's okay," Harry replied as he crawled under the bed to take a book from the floor. "I just need to pack a few books, my potions stuff, Hedwig's stuff and these," He said, pointing at a pile of clothes on his bed.

"Boys," Hermione said playfully as she began folding Harry's clothes. "Here Harry you should put this one on instead of that warm thing you're wearing now," she added and handed him a shirt.

Harry was thinking of an excuse to tell he didn't have to put on the short sleeved shirt. After a few seconds he still hadn't found an excuse so he accepted the shirt. When he saw that Hermione was busy folding his clothes again he quickly changed shirts, carefully checking that Hermione couldn't see his arm.

After half an hour of packing, Harry was finished as well and sat together with Hermione on his bed. Hermione had, of course, a book in her lap and was reading while Harry was looking absently on the Marauders map. When he found the dot that said 'Ronald Weasley' his heart skipped a beat.

Harry missed Ron but on the other hand was Harry very angry with him. Not once since harry had returned from the maze with Cedric's dead body, not once, had Ron come to check on him. He felt betrayed.

' _I mean look at Hermione and all that she has done for me ever since that night. She is a real friend, a friend that cares about me. Ron is just a self-centred git_ ,' Harry thought to himself.

"Harry what you want to do for dinner?" Hermione asked him after a while. "Do you want to skip it?"

Harry looked confused for a moment before he replied as he had come up with an idea. "I got it covered," He said, not giving any further clue.

"Alright I guess," Hermione said slightly confused. "Does that mean we're not skipping dinner?"

"You'll see 'mione," Harry said with a little smirk on his face.

"Okay you dork, surprise me," Hermione said before giving Harry a smile.

OOOOOOOOOO

When It started to get dark outside Harry took Hermione's hand and together they walked out of the Gryffindor tower. Harry led Hermione back to the Astronomy tower where they were this morning. Harry quickly installed the anti-wind charms so they would not get cold.

"Okay Harry, you're going to tell me your plan for dinner now?" Hermione asked. "I'm a bit hungry to be honest."

"Alright then," Harry said before he turned around and called out Dobby's name.

Within a second the small house-elf appeared. "What can Dobby do for mister Harry potter sir?" the elf squeaked.

"Well Dobby, I wanted to ask if you would be able to bring us some dinner up here," Harry said, smiling at the elf's enthusiast reaction. "We don't really want to go to the Great Hall at the moment."

Dobby didn't reply but simply nodded his head before he disappeared, with a smile on his little face. The elf knew exactly what Harry needed right now.

"Oh my god that's such a good idea Harry," Hermione said as Harry sat down next to her. "I should have thought about that!"

Harry laughed for a few seconds. "You always think about everything, so it's alright 'mione," He said and he was happy to see her relax and smiling at him.

"I like it when you call me that," Hermione said softly. "It's the only real nickname that I like to be honest, I hate it when people call me Herm or Grangy or things like."

"Well 'mione it is then," Harry said and smiled at her reaction.

A few minutes later Dobby appeared again and with him were five other house-elves. All their little hands were loaded with plates of food and cans of water and pumpkin juice. The elves placed the food and drinks all around Harry and Hermione and disappeared again.

"Well that's dinner then I guess," Harry said and started laughing as he saw Hermione staring with her mouth open at all the food around her.

Harry and Hermione both started to eat and were amazed when they realized that Dobby had made sure to bring all of their favourite dishes to the Astronomy tower.

Harry really enjoyed having this dinner with Hermione. It felt personal, comfortable and most of all he felt safe with her.

After they both had eaten more than enough food Harry made it all disappear with his wand. All, except for a bowl with fruits that they both plucked from every now and then.

"Thank you for this dinner Harry, it was so lovely," Hermione said as she sat a bit closer and laid her head on his shoulder.

Harry smiled when her head touched his shouder. It fitted perfectly. Harry automatically put his arm around her and was happy when he heard Hermione making a sort of purring noise, like a cat who appreciates something.

"Can't we just sit here all night?" Harry said so quietly it was almost a whisper.

"We can Harry," Hermione replied softly. "I want to."

' _in this moment I feel infinite_ ,' Harry thought to himself.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: So here it is, another chapter :) I hope you all enjoy reading the story so far. I know it's not the happiest one but oh well.**

 **Please leave a review or send me a PM and let me know what you guys think of it!**

 **OOOOOOOOOO**

Harry and Hermione both stood up from the ground and stretched their legs for a few moments. They had spent the whole night up on the Astronomy tower, staring at the stars, thinking about everything that happened and most of all just enjoying each other's company.

"Hurry Harry, we have to get to the train," Hermione said. She took his hand and started to lead him down the tower.

"I hope we can have as somewhat private compartment," Harry mumbled as he and Hermione reached the front doors of the castle, where the carriages were waiting to take them to the train station.

Hermione gave Harry a knowing smile. Harry climbed in one of the carriages and offered his hand to Hermione, who slightly surprised accepted the help and climbed in as well.

' _Oh god he is such a sweet guy_ ,' Hermione thought to herself as the carriages started to move.

OOOOOOOOOO

After the carriages stopped, Harry and Hermione quickly entered the train, trying to avoid as much students as possible. They walked all the way to the end of the train where a few slightly older compartments were, usually unoccupied.

"Are you sure you want to sit here?" Harry asked as he and Hermione entered the compartment.

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked back and gave him a confused look. "I mean yeah these are not the best compartments but I think we'll manage."

"It's not that," Harry said nervously playing with the sleeves of his shirt. "What I meant was, are you sure you want to sit here with me? I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to sit with Ron or Ginny or other people."

Hermione looked at Harry and felt tears in her eyes. He was so used to everybody leaving him behind that he thought that she was going to leave him as well? There was no way that was going to happen.

"I would much rather stay here with you Harry," Hermione said and sat down next to him. "You better get used to it, since you'll spend the summer at my place," she added teasingly.

Harry looked her in the eyes, unable to say something. There were no words for him to say to express how much Hermione meant to him lately.

As the train started to move Hermione curled up on the seat next to Harry and looked a moment at him before laying her head on his leg. Harry was a bit surprised but smiled when Hermione had her head on his leg and started reading.

Harry stared out of the window, his head resting on his right hand. It took him a long while before he realized that his cuts were clearly visible with his arm in this position. He quickly dropped his arm next to his body and looked at Hermione to see if she had noticed anything but luckily she hadn't.

He watched the young witch lying on the seat next to him. A smile appeared on his face, just from watching her.

' _She is such a beautiful girl. And she has always been there for me, no matter what happened. I love her so much_ ,' Harry thought to himself. He knew he would never risk his friendship with her so he pushed the thoughts of him liking her out of his head.

Harry absently started to play with Hermione's hair while she put her book back in her bag. She turned her head so she faced Harry and gave him a soft smile. She loved it when he was playing with her hair. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the fingers going through her hair.

OOOOOOOOOO

After a few hours the lunch lady of the train came by and Harry bought some candy and sandwiches for both him and Hermione. They both ate their lunch in silence, once again both lost in their own thoughts.

"Hermione, can I ask you something?" Harry asked after they finished eating and Hermione's head had found its way on to Harry's shoulder.

"Yeah sure," Hermione said softly, giving Harry's hand a little squeeze with her own.

"How do you know, your parents will allow me to stay at your place?" Harry asked while staring at his feet. "I mean they don't even know me."

Hermione took Harry's hands in her own again. "Well first of all my parents are always really kind when it comes to these things," she said, her head still on Harry's shoulder. "And I can be very persuasive even though I don't think that I'll need to be. And last of all they know quite a bit about you since I told and wrote them loads."

Harry turned his head so he could see her face and he got a smile on his face when he saw her blushing furiously. When she saw him looking she blushed even more and let out a small giggle when she realized that.

"Alright then, I trust you," Harry said and gave her a little smile. "Oh and by the way your giggle is adorable," he added teasing the still beet red witch.

Both Hermione and Harry started laughing after he had said that. It was the first real time they had laughed like this in a long while and it felt good. It took a long while before both teens finally calmed down again.

OOOOOOOOOO

It already started to get dark outside when the Hogwarts express finally slowed down. Inside the train, Harry and Hermione both pulled on a hoodie and got ready to leave. After the train had stopped they both quickly grabbed their stuff and walked as fast as possible to the portal that led them to King's Cross station.

Harry followed Hermione through the mass of people, carefully trying not to hit any of them with his trunk or Hedwig's cage. After a few minutes they reached a parking lot where several people were waiting. Two of the people Harry recognized as Hermione's parents. He suddenly felt very nervous.

"Eh.. I can wait here if you want, until you asked you parents about me staying with you," Harry said and slowed down. Hermione gave him a comforting smile and nodded before she walked to her parents.

Harry watched and saw Hermione discussing with her parents. It was not an angry discussion though, Hermione had her mother's hand in hers and was looking to her dad. Hermione's dad looked a bit surprised and was constantly looking over to Harry, who did his best not to blush too bad.

After a few minutes where Harry got very nervous, Hermione came back to Harry.

Before Harry could ask what her parents said she pulled him in for one of her bone-crushing hugs. "They said yes!" Hermione squeaked excited. Harry and Hermione walked to her parents so Harry could introduce himself.

"Finally we meet Harry Potter," John Granger said. "Hermione has told us so much about you," he added, causing Hermione's cheeks to turn bright red.

"She indeed has," Jean Granger said. "I think we heard that you saved Hermione from trouble quite a few times."

"Oh Mrs. Granger, Hermione has saved me numerous times as well to be honest," Harry relied and gave Hermione a small smirk.

All four of them got in the Granger's car and soon there were on the road to their house. When Hermione's parents had asked both teens if they wanted to go to a burger restaurant before going home, they both quickly agreed.

While the car raced over the highway, Harry was staring out of the window of it. Hermione's parents had accepted him so quickly, they had not even asked questions about what had happened. Harry felt safe and without him realizing it he had a broad smile on his face.

OOOOOOOOOO

After they arrived at the burger restaurant and they had all ordered, Hermione and her parents started to catch up with everything that had happened the past weeks.

As Harry listened he could hear in the voice of Hermione's parents how much they had missed her. He even saw her mother's eyes get watery a few times. As Harry continued to follow the conversation he noticed that Hermione had stopped talking when the conversation reached the third task.

Hermione gave Harry a look that asked him if he would be okay if she would tell them. Harry gave her a small smile and nodded that it was okay for her to tell. He knew he would rather not talk about it but it was so much easier if he would not have to tell them himself. He was glad however, that Hermione's hand had found his once again so he could draw comfort from that.

Hermione started to tell her parents about the third task. She constantly kept looking at Harry, ready to stop talking if it would become too much for him. After she told them how Harry had witnessed the killing of Cedric and how Voldemort had returned, she saw her parents faces turning pale. She ended with telling them about the fake Mad-Eye and how she and Harry had managed the last days at Hogwarts.

Harry notice while they were eating, that Hermione's parents were looking at him with concerned looks on their faces. Harry however tried to act as normal as possible since he did not want to bother them too much with his problems. His hand didn't leave Hermione's during the entire time, something that her parents noticed as well but didn't comment on.

After they had finished, John got up to pay but before he could fully stand up Harry had already taken the bill and was paying at the bar.

"You already let me stay at your home during this summer, the least I can do is pay for this lovely dinner," Harry said as they were leaving the restaurant and he saw the questioningly look on Hermione's dad his face.

' _Oh my god he is such a sweet guy, he has my parents already wrapped around his finger,'_ Hermione said to herself causing herself to smile.

After another half an hour drive, the Granger's plus Harry arrived at the house. Harry felt his mouth fall open as soon as he saw the house. This house would even make the Dursley's blush, it was so big! Harry and Hermione took their luggage out of the car and followed Hermione's parents inside.

"Well Hermione, why don't you show Harry his room and give him a tour through the house?" Hermione's mom said. Hermione nodded her head in agreement and took Harry's hand.

Hermione led Harry upstairs and then up to the second floor.

"Well here is your room," Hermione said and pointed to a door on the right side. "Mine is on the left, next to your room is the bathroom and next to mine is the walk-in wardrobe," she added.

Harry just nodded, still with a overwhelmed expression on his face.

"Are you arlight Harry?" Hermione asked as she showed Harry his room.

Harry nodded his head. "I'm good Hermione, it's just that this house is absolutely awesome," he said after a few seconds of silence.

After she showed him his room, Hermione led Harry through all the rooms of the huge house. She showed him the kitchen, living room, movie room, a huge library ( of course) and the garden. After that she and Harry joined her parents in the living room.

The longer Harry was with the Granger's, the more comfortable he felt. Slowly he joined a discussion with Hermione and her father about magical creatures.

It was already around midnight when Harry and Hermione both yawned. Hermione's mother told them it was time to go to sleep and after saying their goodnights, both teens went upstairs.

OOOOOOOOOO

Hermione followed Harry to his room and sat down on his bed. She didn't say anything but Harry could see that something was bothering her. He sat down next to her and took his hand in his.

"Everything alright 'mione?" Harry asked after a short silence.

Hermione nodded. "I'm fine Harry, it's just that only now I realized that this is the first time that I have a friend stay here in the summer," she said with a small smile, staring at her lap.

Harry knew that Hermione did not have many friends before she got to Hogwarts, and even at Hogwarts she did not have many friends. But she was his friend and he loved her ( even more than a friend).

Harry gently cupped Hermione's chin with his hand and made her look at him. "It's the only place I want to be right now 'mione," he said and to his pleasure he saw her relax. "You mean the world to me right now."

After he had said that last sentence Hermione practically launched herself at Harry. She wrapped her arms around her and hugged him tightly. She felt a tear rolling down her cheek when she had her head on Harry's shoulder, but this time it was a happy tear.

Harry buried his face in Hermione's hair and closed his eyes. The feeling of Hermione around him and the nice smell of her hair made Harry forget all his problems for a moment.

OOOOOOOOOO

It was only when Harry and Hermione heard her parents go to bed a floor beneath them, that Hermione got up from Harry's bed. Before she left she gave him a kiss on the cheek, something that she had never done before. Not that Harry minded though, not at all.

Harry laid down in his bed and within a few minutes he was vast asleep while Hermione in her room fell asleep just as fast as he did.


End file.
